Return to the blogosphere

It's pretty easy to piece together the end of my blogging life in 2006 if you know that I got pregnant right around the time of the last post and had my first child in Feb 2007.  So, I guess when you get your youngest child to 3 years old, that's when you find that you have just a few extra seconds each day (or maybe only each week, we'll see) for a blog post.

Having read a few blogs fairly extensively recently, I wonder if sharing my personal life with the rest of the web is really the thing I want to do.  But this morning in church, as I listened to the scripture lesson and Gospel, I realized that I wanted to rant about it a bit.  And I feel like the church setting isn't so much the place to do that.  That seems so wrong and counter-intuitive.  Shouldn't you be able to discuss your own ideas about the readings with others in the church?  But there's this feeling I have that I'll be reviled for going against the sacred words of the Bible if I disagree with what's being said or read.  So, if only for myself, perhaps I'll rant here.

So what's the point of my blog?  I have no idea.  I'm very conflicted about church.  On the one hand, while I believe in God, I find organized religion to be a bit like a flock of mostly unthinking and/or unreasoning sheep who repeat words that they memorized as children and don't necessarily understand what they're saying.  On the other hand, I have a compelling need to give my kids the same type of caring, nurturing, loving extended family that I had in my church when I was small.  I feel like those memories I have of church are so important to me that I don't want to rob my kids of that experience.

I wrestle with these kinds of thoughts most Sundays.  I feel a bit hypocritical in being there because my beliefs don't perfectly line up with those of everyone else there.  Kind of like when you hole punch a piece of paper but didn't have it line up perfectly in the puncher and the paper sticks out of your binder at the top a bit.  I still have the hole punches, but they're not in the same place on my paper as everyone else's are.